Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I'm actually kind of smart...

I don't know why but I was not aware.  I always assumed it was some weird island with maybe a little straight or some island chain.  But it has recently become clear to me that Alaska is NOT an island.  I mean someone told me within the last couple months but I just couldn't wrap my brain around it.  I always thought it was like some bigger version of Hawaii but cold and more North.  Just chilling up there next to Washington state.  But I've had to face and accept the truth after seeing the map on the dashboard.  It shows Alaska is in fact connected to Canada.  While I've never been so I cannot attest to it's accuracy, I will have to trust the mapmakers.  I'm in no position to go and check the accuracy of their coordinates.  I am leaving open the theory that this is a huge conspiracy by the mapmakers to hide away Alaska and keep it as their private island just like they did when they named Iceland (tricky bastards...I'm on to you!)
But let's just pretend for one minute that this isn't a huge conspiracy. 
If, Alaska is in fact attached to Canada...well, I don't want it anymore.  I think we stole it *ahem* borrowed it.  We probably owe them an apology of sorts.  I'll send them a letter along with some Alaskan soil.

Dear Canada, I believe this belongs to you.  We have been in possession of it for a while now but it was totally an accident.  We didn't mean to steal your chunk of land.  We really didn't know it was attached to you, you can totally have it back.  By the way, you can have North Dakota too, that state just sounds lame.  Sincerely, your little brother America

P.S we kept the oil