Saturday, April 30, 2011

Grown-ups are secretly plotting to keep all the good stuff for themselves

I have very few distinct memories from my childhood.  This probably shouldn't be surprising as my childhood was fairly traumatic and in order to survive I blocked out most of it.  One particular thing that stands out in my pre-separation (before my mom left my dad) life is the Chinese food restaurant that we would eat at like all the time.  We went there so often that we had a regular waitress and sometimes her kids would come out of the kitchen to play with me or eat with us and color  (keep in mind these were Chinese people and it was the 80's).  I loved that place.  I don't recall any specific meals there for the most part.  I know at some point that I tried the spicy mustard after much insistence from my parents that it was hot and I wouldn't like it.  But who were they to tell me what I would and wouldn't like to eat...I wasn't a damn baby drinking formula...I had a very mature pallet after all.  Spicy mustard, it turned out was just too much for my 6 year old taste buds and I decided that while I wouldn't tell my parents they were right, THEY WERE RIGHT!  The time I do distinctly remember is when sometime after that my mom invited her friend and her friend's daughter (who was my best friend at the time) to join us for lunch or dinner at our favorite restaurant.  I was so excited to share this experience with my best friend.  So we are all gathered in our little booth sharing this exciting "ethnic" food when the waitress brings out the little "pallet" thing of sauces.  And my friend must have had similar thought patterns to me because she was instantly drawn to the bright yellow mustard.  It went something like this:
Friend:  Oooh I want that *points to mustard*
Friend's mom:  No, that's just for grown ups.
Friend:  I WANT IT!
Friend's mom:  It's not for children.
Me:  *seeing where this is going* trust me *insert friend's name* you don't want it, it's gross, you won't like it :)
Friend:  But I do want some...
My mom:  *insert my name* tried it, she is telling you the truth
Friend:  you are all LYING to me to trick me out of something good and have it ALL for yourselves!
Friend's mom:  really you don't want it, it's not for kids.
Friend:  *all out screaming, sobbing fit* I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!!  *laying in the floor kicking and screaming*  I WANT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Friend's mom:  OK
Friend:  *gets up instantly*   *takes heaping spoonful*  *face turns fire red*  *screaming ensues*  *I think she even spit fire*  *angrily*  YOU ALL TRICKED ME!

I only bring this up because the 4 year old woke up...yes it really is midnight here...demanding more food.  After debating with him he settled on bologna (fried) with ketchup.  I cook it, cut it and go to ketchup it.  I found a container on the counter of small packets of sauces and proceeded to grab a handful of red ones...luckily I read them before dumping them out on his plate...because when I did, they said "Taco Bell Fire Sauce"  That would have made for a memorable childhood moment.  And while I actually saved him from this traumatic experience, I'm sure he'll remember it as the grown-ups secretly plotting to keep all the good stuff for themselves.

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