Tuesday, May 24, 2011

In bad economic times...

I just want to say I knew talking bad about MJ would scare away the few people reading this.  But let's face it MJ is probably chilling some where watching my kid and having a dirty fantasy.  He may have been a great pop star (if you like that type of music) but he was just plain scary/weird.  Now onto today's subject matter:

When the economy gets tough and money gets tight I start to plan.  I'm sure I'm not alone in this but...my ideas are probably a little different than the standard reaction.  I come up with get rich quick schemes...again not very unique.  Let me share a few of these gems with you:

1) Create a new drug using baby orajel and oregano, call it CrackaJuana.  Market it to cool 5th graders.  Use slogan "you know ju wanna try it!".  Can't possibly be an actual crime because neither substance is actually illegal.  Get all youth addicted = MONEY MONEY MONEY!

2)  Find cute girl (of legal age) willing to sell some sexual act on the Internet (i.e. first threesome), set it up with the bunny ranch to make it legal.  Put her on Ebay and take a 90% cut as agent fees etc.

3)  Become a paid hit man.  Require a 10,000 dollar down payment.  Find person I'm supposed to "hit" walk up and punch them...say this is from "person who paid me to hit them"...never collect the other 10k.  Always refer to the act as a "hit" as to avoid any confusion. 

So, as you can see these aren't normal...or maybe they are, hell the economy is shit.  So tonight when my father asked me to cut his hair so he could save some money, I came up with a more realistic idea.  I could cut people's hair (well buzz cut it) for half the price of the shop...not that I know what I'm doing but you get what you pay for dumb ass!

 BTW this post is lacking in cute wisdom from the 4 year old...so I'll throw in this little nugget.  Tonight when I was going to get the buzzer thingy (umm clippers, maybe?) my son had just waken up from a nap and wanted me to sit with him.  I asked him if he wanted to help cut granddad's hair and he got extremely excited about this idea.  He ran into the kitchen, pulled out the tub from under the table and proceeded to sort through his playdoh toys before settling on the bright green playdoh scissors.  He proudly announced that he would be cutting granddad's hair with them :).  That is my kid <3